Today, all I really want to do was this:
…and also: give up, quit ballet, go home, open a pint of ice cream and cry while watching some form of trash tv. But instead, my day looked more like this:
…pointe shoe-shaped bruise admiring, toe nail-smooshing and tutu battling. Only the crying part remained invariable.
Some days, (usually after a particularly restless night), it’s like I just wasn’t meant for ballet. Nothing feels right, nothing looks right, I find myself quickly waning in energy and simply unable to do anything about it. At this point, I usually start to get extremely frustrated over the teeniest details, I realize how small these details are (despite how monumental they seem in that moment), and then wonder why I even care so much. Why do I get so torn up over having a “bad class” or not being able to land one. lousy. pirouette.? This, my friends, is a question only answerable by the ballet gods. All I can do now is relax on the couch with my heating pad and a bowl of cereal, take a deep breath, and prepare for a better day tomorrow. I’ll leave you with something a bit more uplifting; a photo I snapped of our amazing principals Vilia Putrius and Mindaugas Bauzys during their Agon rehearsal…
Hm, I’m like you, and I’m not even professional :s. It sucks so hard when suddenly you don’t seem to able for anything anymore. Pirouettes are the worst! What are you in the company?
So glad you know what I’m feeling! I’m a second-year apprentice, working on a promotion right now :)
Good luck! Hopefully you’ll get it :).
I am not a professional and I am feeling exactly like you are right now. I promise myself not to get upset when I have a bad lesson, but I still can’t shake it sometimes! I want to scream at the ballet gods and say, “Just leave me alone! Can’t you just let me pique turn into a Pas de bourrée without falling over! Why Ballet God, why must you torment me so!”
They will never answer. Boo.
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