Friday night I had my first evening rehearsal of the season, and it was actually quite a lovely time. Alex and I insisted on lighting the studios with the overhead chandeliers that are usually reserved for black box events like Up Close On Hope, and of course self-proclaimed perpetual youth that he is, our boss was all too happy to allow it. Rehearsing moonlight doused in the soft glow of chandeliers was completely transporting. A slow drip of darkness from the two large windows facing 4th Street wafted its way in and filled the studio with a fuzzy, dim weight. Our chandeliers indulged us with their moony glow. The alternative lighting left an effect on the room, like the entire space had closed its eyes and our rehearsal was its subconscious monologue. We were that thing, that strange stream of movement it had no real control over imagining when its eyelids were pulled down. It was then that I realized, I do about 80 percent of this piece with my own eyes closed, something I have never incorporated into a performance before. Every step of the sleepy pas de deux felt notably more honest that night, my hollow hands paddling amidst an intangible, weightless mass, the invisible density of darkness. Heavy, but completely immune to gravity. How frustrating to be held captive in this impossible sensation.
Before heading off to said evening rehearsal, I decided to take advantage of my long break and the beautiful fall foliage by going out for a walk around Swan Point Cemetery, right at the end of Blackstone Boulevard. Swan Point is one of the most peaceful places I’ve ever wandered into, so much so that before I knew it I had myself completely lost amongst the red leaves and tomb stones. What was meant to be a quick stroll turned into a 2.5-hour walk, but I don’t regret it for a minute. Sometimes a long lonely walk with just the company of your own thoughts is exactly what the doctor ordered.
Definitely feeling the eerie October vibes these days, if you hadn’t already noticed…
ps- check out this video of choreographer Ilya Kozadayev, discussing one of the other pieces he set on FBP.