we are family

when i set out writing “the silhouette inside” i had no idea i would be seeing it on a shelf. what started as lines written in the back of my mind has become an external piece of me. this book is so personal, like the pages of my diary turned inside out and illustrated. i’m so excited to share that my book is officially on stock at books on the square in my beloved home, providence, ri!

i would be remiss if i didn’t pay some thanks to this little corner of the internet, which i created 10(!) years ago to document my life as a dancer and keep my writing skills somewhat in tact as i began my professional career. back in 2010, a month before my first day of work at festival ballet providence, i opened a wordpress account and started typing. a decade ago, back when blogs were a thing of the future (hah), i could have never imagined that this site would grow into what it is today.

nostalgic to my core, i still look back on posts from the past fondly, some so clear i can almost read each word before i see it and others sweet reminders of memories long lost. somewhere along the way, this space grew from an online journal to a community of readers, entrepreneurs, and friends.

in honor of that relationship, i am giving you all a special discount on my book, “the silhouette inside“. use the code STBFAMILY (in all caps) at check out for 15% off the book. and pssssst…if you’ve been here for a while, you’ve already got a sneak peek into book number two ;)

book release: september first!

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i am so excited to announce that #thesilhouetteinside will be officially released september 1, 2020! it’s been such a labor of love this past year, and a thrill to have you along on the journey the past few weeks.

stay tuned for a COVER REVEAL coming very soon (wink) and preorder details (hint, perks) to follow!

a conversation, sometimes in rhyme

silhouette back cover

when tasked with creating the “back matter” for my book (fancy publishing terms, ooh la la) a basic summary of the contents just didn’t feel right. so you can probably guess what i did…yup, i wrote another poem!

a poem to encapsulate the collection of poems that describe the past year of my life. a year of emotional turmoil, unexpected transition. a year of finding new life from the i n s i d e and falling in love with what i found:

 

a conversation-

sometimes in rhyme

between the writer

and the silhouette inside

words strung together

much more than a line

a reintroduction

soft shifting of sides

bloomed into being

collected and tied

fruitful and all-seeing

outside-in, synchronize

take this, my crescent year

hear the silence, read my mind

planted, rooted, growing, free

the voice inside, bold and outlined.

 

the art that i created to accompany this back cover poem was based on a silhouette cut for me by a man in montmartre, paris. one afternoon, following a lunch accompanied by several glasses of wine (as was the status quo throughout our stay in the city of light) my friends and i wandered through a busy market of artists painting, sketching, and snipping away. a silhouette artist stopped me and asked if he could cut my silhouette for me- to try and drum up some business. his stand was right on the corner, and he promised my silhouette would be free if i sat just a few minutes for him. maybe it was the charming accent or the wine turning my cheeks red- i shrugged my shoulders, hopped up onto the stool, and he went to work, cutting away my profile from glossy black paper while passersby stopped to inquire.

the small portrait now hangs in an oval-shaped frame in my bedroom. it is one of the first things i see when i wake up in the morning, and the last before i fall asleep at night. in a way, it helped inspire the idea of an internal conversation being with “the silhouette inside”. a piece of my favorite city, a story, a portrait that speaks.

 

PREORDER “the silhouette inside” SOON! Stay tuned for details…

a tiny fire you can hold in your hand

matchbox press

my debut collection of poems and drawings “the silhouette inside” is almost ready! since i decided to opt for self-publishing (i am indie woman, hear me roar, and all that) i have been tasked with creating my own publishing house…

if you know me, you know i collect matches. one matchbox swiped from the bar of a hotel by a new friend who would quickly become my best friend. another box taken with buttery fingers on the way out of an old-school italian restaurant on the north end of boston. a long matchbox from a seaside teahouse in watch hill, a short stack from a small jeweler off of wickenden street. to me, they are like time in a bottle. a sign of hospitality, of care. a bidding token to remember that moment. a pocketable piece of a place, a souvenir.

a sucker for graphic design, i take joy in comparing the typographies on my matchboxes as the world changes. my stumbling upon these little cardboard boxes and books is becoming more and more rare. but i’ll keep collecting, holding on to these outdated relics. each tellings it’s own story, each one an author. a coin-sized, weightless memory from a trip- just a blip- but enough to spark a tiny fire you can hold in your hand.

my book “the silhouette inside” is coming out September 1! stay tuned for preorder details on my facebook author page here.

all rights reserved. matchbox press illustration by kirsten evans.

four decades of dance

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You know how I’ve been complaining for the past year about how busy I’ve been? Well friends, I wrote a book.

What started as a simple chronicle of Festival Ballet’s 40 years became a thorough narrative not only encapsulating the history of the company, but showcasing photos and memorabilia that had since been lost in the depths of the archives. I spent many an afternoon elbow-deep in the chaotic filing cabinets that keep Festival’s past, riffling through playbills from the ’80s, checking facts and faces as I went. Many summer days spent sweating in the little conference room at 825 Hope, choosing fonts, resizing photos, playing graphic designer…

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I am a perfectionist. I am rarely happy with my work. For the first time in what feels like a long time, I am truly pleased. I have so many people to thank for their assistance and mentorship along the way. But here, in this special little piece of webspace where I can open myself up, I will say: I am proud.

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Stay tuned for the final version of the book, and information on how to order it, if you’re interested. For now, I’ll just remain unabashedly tickled. :)

 

photos of me by Michael Collins, cover photo by Jacob Hoover.

business as usual

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Otherwise 100% ordinary, late-30s-aged men, if not slightly technologically superior, a double hipster leg cross provides just enough lap slack-bunch to reveal the accessory which defines them as appropriately placed here.  The detail that proves their awareness, it’s “what sets them apart”: the funky sock.   Continue reading

a message to myself…

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you must not look back,

you must not pry ahead;
too much focus in either direction
spells certain imprisonment.
a permanent state of exertive suspension,
you are treading laced water.
thick with regret, diluted by doubt;
surviving wholly on indecision,
these interlopers only perish in the present.
so this is where you must live,
and take special note of my instruction now:
the joy of existence is not something to be obtained,
like smoke in your hands
you can see it
smell it
taste it
but you will never tangibly feel it.
there is no physical indication of life’s company.
you will never hold it, contain it, preserve it,
and you mustn’t try.
for the longer you reach towards it,
the faster it vanishes.
but only from sight,
for the smell
the taste
the sense of it lingers,
like dust on your fingers,
the essence remains.
keep these scars as mementos and carry them without burden.
lay your past in a warm grave and use its lessons to build an altar to your future.
for this place between tomb and tomorrow,
this is your sanctuary.

identity

Kirsten 10 july 2014 (18 of 21)

I’ve become an early-riser.

like an upset because she slept through her alarm for the second day in a row and is subsequently missing ballet class in the middle of the July type of early riser.  I’ve become someone who bakes grapefruit (sprinkled with organic brown sugar, to boot) and enjoys it on an enclosed porch with a side of summer rain.  I’ve become someone who takes cold showers and listens to classical music outside the studio.

I’m now someone who hears a piece of music in the background of a movie and becomes obsessed with creating movement in her head. And then maybe dances around the house to said piece of music quite a bit as well (some things don’t change).  But now I’m actually  considering “choreographing” this movement and showing it to people.  eeep.

I’ve become a teacher; someone who spends hours planning barre combinations and rehearses her introduction speech in the car 6 times on the way to that first class.  I’m ‘miss kirsten’.

I am now someone who goes on lunchdates with 70-year-old women because we are friends.  One of the best I have made all summer, in fact.

I now dream of dinner parties and cocktail napkins and candles.  I shop for wine and prefer it over almost any other beverage- I’ll even have just one glass.  I’ve finally unpacked my vintage champagne coupes, gifted from grandma at least 5 christmases ago.  They sit proudly on my barcart- because I now have one of those.   I can spend 30 minutes perusing a store whose entire inventory comprises nothing but olive oil, without getting bored.  And I’m not just there for the free samples- I leave with a bottle of my own for the fancy dinners I now cook myself.

I am now a person who books plane tickets for a 10-hour flight that I will board alone.

I am someone who believes in skincare as makeup, but also have a strange new passion for the art of applying a full face of it.  Also, I wear lipstick now, and have 5 different shades in my purse at any given time.  Where did this habit of carrying the whole collection at once come from?  We may never know.

I am someone who says ‘yes’ to (almost) everything, and someone who feels incomplete without fresh flowers next to her bed.  I am a person who cuts a vacation short to attend morning kickboxing class, just to work on that jumping rear kick.  I’m also a ninja.

I am someone who actually misses technique class and anticipates the start of the new season a whole month in advance.  I’m also someone who gets very excited when they see their name in an article on Dance Spirit.  (I had to link that one, i’m just too tickled not to share!)

I’m growing up, you guys.  And it’s completely vivifying.

 

 

 

photo by Sheila K Lawrence

ps* I decided to use a more casual editorial style, with short sentences and laid back punctuation, to express the relaxed tone of this post.  I wrote most of this a few weeks ago in a journal one morning when I overslept, and wanted the sleepy, ranting tone of that entry to follow it here.  That’s all.  Adios muchachos.

guest posting it up

dancehealthier

Hey all, just wanted to pop in and share some exciting news with you…

A few weeks ago, the author of one of my favorite dance blogs, Jill, asked me to write a guest post for her site, Dance Healthier.  My first guest post ever, weeeee!  Of course I obliged, attempted to write a short and sweet story about what inspires me, and promptly typed up a multi-paragraph chapter all about why I love dancing.  Woops.  Anyway, it turns out Jill loved the article and posted it on her lovely blog yesterday!  So I figured I would let you all know both about my little guest posty and also about Jill’s fantastic health-and-fitness-for-dancers blog.  Well, what are you waiting for?! Go check it out!!!